Till I came to Hyderabad I wasn't much fond of using Facebook but then seeing everyone,looking at it's popularity as one of the best site for creating friends and then keeping in touch with them, and all such sort of stuffs, I started this facebook thing. As far as I can recall, in the begining I was very much busy selecting the best profile pic, looking for some kind of incident which I can share, adding other users as friends (whom I had rarely known), and exchanging messages, waiting for those automatic notifications whenever someone did something...whether it is about liking some pic/status of mine, or commenting on it, or commenting in a thread where I have commented earlier, or some friend request...blah..blah..too many of them...!!
Before this Facebook thing started, the only possible way of knowing what my near dear once were doing was either messages or phone calls. Few people might hate sticking to a mobile phone for knowing how is their close friend's and relative's lives are turning up, but I feel now that, this one small box used to bring answers to all ifs, whys, hows at a time, right then and with so much of no more existing privacy.Honestly when you can hear the voice of the other person, you can very well make out what is it that he/she is liking or not, to talk about or to listen to..hence you come to know that person in a better way.
Since when this Facebook thing started, for even knowing that my younger brother has his exams I have to login, I have some notifications and along with them some updates from people from my friend's list and scrolling down the page somewhere I read my brother's status message and then I happen to realize that I should call him now for wishng him "All the Best". Or if it is my close friend's Birthday then also I am least bothered about it, as facebook is there to keep track of it, and I am anyways wishing everyone who's birthday is there since facebook charges you no money for writing on anyone's wall and half the times I hardly share anything apart from a birthday message round the year with them. It bothers me so much at times. I feel as if one doesn't belong to this, where things are so much artificial, and one just do it because it's a part of current culture and since others did it to you, you need to be polite enough to do that to them.
Earlier whenever I used to have free time, I used to watch anything which is there on television, swapping through various channels and finding the one which might interest me for few hours and sticking to that, Or I used to read some good stuff in paper, novel or used to cook something special or new, Or I would go to my grand father's place and sit with him, listening to his old day's stories and grabbing the knowledge he has about politics, world, wars etc.Believe me, at this age (75 years) he knows far more than anyone I have ever met on this earth till now. He is my 10 pointer in History, the subject which I never liked.I still had other options like I would draw some sketches of things around, or would write in my diary, or else I would end up listening to some good songs.Nowadays I feel so pathetic realizing that if I am at my home and I am having spare time, I tend to login in facebook in the first place and if there is nothing interesting, no games, no updates, no new pics, no new gossips then only I would think of other options. This is so insane, it is as if facebook has become my priority over all the things I used to do.I have not flipped my diary's pages since ages. Earlier, way back in 8th standard, around 11 years before, when I started writing my personal diary, inspired from my Hindi teacher,I used to keep track of every small thing since early morning to the time I go to bed. Later after reading it, once my mother said that it's not the way you do it, you only write the things which you want to remember forever. Though it was a personal diary I let her read, for some honest feedback, and it happened never again...I guess I was in 9th standard then. So then I changed my habit and started writing only the things which I wanted to keep safely as memories.I continued this habit till my college days. With few ups and downs, where sometimes I dint used to like writing I have details of almost every beautiful day I have spent since then.
After being in this professional life, for first few weeks I almost forgot that I used to have a diary even. Knowing my habit of writing, every year my father used to gift me one diary of that respective year.So before coming here,I had this new diary, which was empty initially and later it had MOMs, minutes of the meetings :-( I almost stopped writing, and even though I will write, it will be no more in those pages, it will be in my laptop..and which I have suddenly started hating as I can edit it anytime realizing that this thing was not meant in this way, or I can erase it completely...And here it takes away the complete pleasure of writing a diary. Though it helps me feel I am going green, I want that habit of writing in those pages, which used to leave an impression if you edit any memories.
Earlier whenever I used to talk to someone, I will try calling him/her or drop a message. But now the first thing any one will do is, check whether that person is online or not!!!! Or else you end up writing on his/her wall letting everyone know that you were thinking of that person.Even I do that, but sometimes I feel like deleting every post which was about me and my friends.Whenever I am out with my friends for fun or food :P , everyone including me, is posing for pics not just for keeping memories, the bigger part of the interest is in, "Which one will be the best one as my profile pic? , what comments, and from whom all are expected when I will upload these pics?, what affect this pic might have on someone(this one is specially for committed people... :P), or how many people are going to like it ?" Can't believe that it's not about just pics,but about all possible consequences which might occur of what different sets of people might think about you,your status, your choice, or your lavish life when you update anything on your wall?? It sounds disappointing. And it fulfills the definition of Facebook as,
I seriously feel freaked out at times thinking why everyone has to comment and the worst part is that why do I have to be curious to check it..Why can't be every detail remain just a detail which I need not know as what everyone is thinking of me, in spite of it being a comment on my Facebook wall, below which all sorts of conversations would take place, which sometimes make me laugh, and at times leaves me with a blank expression!! I even have one of my cousin brother who never accepts my friend requests, making me doubt on him that what wrong is he doing in his life. Why is it affecting so much??
Recently one of my senior, started using facebook and she is updating every single update of what is going on in her personal life.I remember her saying once that "What do you guys do all the time on a Facebook page? This is a time waste, doesn't make any sense to me." And now the scenario has totally changed.Upon asking about her latest interest in facebook, she said that since she is so much free nowadays, she is enjoying it. Wowwww...you end up being one more facebook buff when you have nothing else to do!!!!
I don't disagree with the fact that this trend of using social bookmarking sites currently like twitter, reddit, facbook etc makes you approachable, reachable to masses through a common platform.They make you a people's person and they are of too much interest and use for someone who has the benefit of knowing more number of people, or for them who likes to update their knowledge through other's experiences. But sometimes you feel that it has taken away that pleasure of being only you, it has taken away the peace of our minds for not letting you live without it. It's good if people uses them not because they are addicted to it, but because they are being benefited from it. I'd rather check reddit page than my own facebook wall full of only Me and Me and only Me..I get too much obsessed at times :P !!And this complete thing is yet debatable and not 100% correct from any single person's point of view.
Seeing of comments, making more number of friends, keeping track of what your near dear once are doing or discussing with someone else, is that of too much of importance to us? Do we really feel like keeping an eye over the people we love and think of something negative just because of something which is of no importance than just a comment, or a friend request? I seriously don't understand that why do I feel like opening my facebook page every time I open my browser, I was happy seeing Google as my default page. This facebook thing was not meant to be like this, I hope. I seriously respect those who use this site just for the purpose of having it to be a part of a big community, but not ALWAYS for time pass. Because I had been doing it since last one year, and what I realized now says that my life was way too simpler and happier without this facebook thing. I was as much as close to my near dear once as I am now, it has neither added nor subtracted anything of their account.But at times the only difference I feel is, I am scared of losing my mind over some useless comments or wall posts which does not matter at all to me or someone else.
So I have actually deactivated my account, apparently for the 15th time in last one year to avoid being an addict of just a site nothing more than that.I wish I can break my own record of 3 or 4 days this time..And I know this is not the solution, I just need to not think of it too much, and need to have some other interesting things to enjoy the fun and the beauty of relationships, rather than just a website. As being told to me by one of my near dear one, that he has been through this stage about an year ago, and what so ever one does, one can't let this habit just go..But I believe nothing is impossible, so don't just be a slave of anything...at least better keep on giving it a try unless you have accepted the defeat..So..here I am trying one more time..."Screw It, Let's Do It" !!
