Thursday, October 10, 2013

That's Only 'Mine'!

"Hey don't use that Mug.."
"Why do you mind?"
"It's a personal gift."
"Oh, okay!"  (with a weird tone)

So what is this possessiveness about few things like clothes/utensils? And this is no Exception if I add CODE too in the list..the typical competitive engineer side of me!

Few examples are like :

1. You have been gifted a utility by someone really special. So what's the next thing you do with it? Do you keep it in your mirror case for decoration or in your kitchen (let's say it's a mug) ? In most of the cases after saving it for few months ;-) it goes into your regular kitchen stuff! 
Next hurdle is, are you okay sharing it, or you wanna make sure no one else uses it? Now in most of the cases, not just girls even boys do not wish to share their special gifts. Is it wrong? Totally not! That's been gifted to just YOU after all. 
So what do you say when you see someone else using it?
Ya, that's our next hurdle now!
You just go ahead and say it upfront. "Can you please not use it next time? It's a gift."
Now, what if that person gives you a weird toned assertion. 
It could be "So what..I do share my gifts." "Hmm...okay.." "Ohh..okay" or the ones wanting you to tell you your story further.."Oh, sorry I dint know it was personal to you."

Now based on my observation, rarely people would give the last response. Mostly they would be thinking lame about you. Now well if you are one of these you must know that,

"Possessive thinking frequently accompanies “heartless thinking” in which no empathy is felt for the need or concerns of others."

So you have started it, be ready to accept!

And personally, there is nothing wrong in being possessive about few things. If at all it is not some living being! I usually don't discriminate my love for them too :P

2. It could be a childhood memory you have been carrying with you since you have left home for the first time. It might sound kiddish to say I don't want to share my so and so thing, I have been using/having it since I was a kid, a very rare case, and the other person might find you nuts! But he/she might seem to forget in fury that you have emotions attached to it..for a long long time. It's been yours since when you din't know you were going to stay away from home among some new people, who would be daring to use it. :rude:

So again be it. And those on the other side, let them be it.

Ya this is it...this is what all I wanted to say on this..

And BTW, about the code...(that's just for fun)
I have spent my days and nights behind this one piece of code and you want to be the sole person knowing the in and out of it until you show it to your boss first. 
Now here I would say, you better not be strictly-possessive. 
Show it to your peers, get their inputs and let them know in advanced that you would want to demonstrate it directly. Straight and Simple!

Note ** This post is based on just a few random thoughts I get from here and there..Seeing people and their reactions to their beloved things..!! Btw I somehow like them..
Because - "If they can hold feelings for some non-living thing, imagine how much they feel for the person/reason who/which is behind it"  :)

Born to dream :)

Friday, March 29, 2013

The Green Light

I know we don't talk to each other, I understand we don't have to.
I escaped out of  US, and now it's just ME & YOU.
It's a small story, I want to share,
If we are connected, you would care.
You know that's so silly and stupid,
But I see my account, to learn your bit.
The grey light tells, you have moved on.
The red one tells, you are there but not for me.
The orange one tells, you wanna be there but can't.
And the green one tells, you are around waiting for me...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My Neighbor, My Childhood Ideal..

Sini P. George. Yeah, that was her complete name back then.

My malayali neighbor, 4-5 years elder to me.She was a beauty, a black beauty.I used to try to dress up like her, to comb like her, to even carry a pen/pencil of the brand she used to use.Be it waiting for our school bus early morning or running behind it at times; a patty fight with my classmate or finding it difficult to perform in any event...She used to be there, always. I was more connected to her than my mother at one point in my childhood.With her two elder sisters,Uncle & Aunt, they were 5 of them in the family. I used to join them for their evening prayers. Monu Di (Sini Di's nick) used to make me read those passages from Bible and Uncle used to explain them to me.I have spent almost fifty percent of my free time post school hours at their home for years. I always felt invited and secure there..I can't deny that she was way to protective of me and I was fond of that :-)

Most of us have an ideal,from childhood days, we take inspiration from. Be it a school senior or someone staying in the neighborhood; whom you observe and try to imitate. Monu Di was that childhood ideal for me.

When I was in class 4th, we left that neighbourhood and shifted to another locality. I cried and cried for days because I was lonely there. For me it was sort of an end, which I couldn't figure out at that small age and I remember that it was during our summer breaks which made it even worse. Our meetings were limited to school premises now and that too very rare. Exactly around 3 years later, we moved back. Although I had grown up a bit, I was excited to be around her. But now she had grown up too much for me, she had other friends of her own age she would spend most of her time with. Alothough I was jealous but she never ignored me. I was always given preference somehow :)

Alas! things dint remain like this for long. 2 years passed and she moved out of the city to pursue higher education. We too shifted to our new home permanently, farther than this society, leading to no medium of being in touch with her or her family.

Surprinsingly, on one of my birthdays, I received a letter with her card. I wasn't in the same city anymore, neither was she; but I read it almost 10 times immediately and was very happy with the thought of Monu Di writing to me, after so long..I decided to reply back. I was staying in Kota, Rajasthan and she was in Bangalore, Karnataka then ; pursuing her Nursing. It felt so far away then. Sometime later I came to know that her family moved back to Kerela, selling their house in my hometown and other their was now no chance of them returning back ever.

Few years passed, and we were still connected via phones. Thanks to developing mobile technology at that time. As time passed further, I got busy in my higher studies and I believe same would have been the case with her as well. We were talking only on Birthdays, Diwali and Christmas by now.I hadn't realized, how fast time flew; when one fine evening she called me suddenly and informed that she is married now. She was sorry that she couldn't invite me. But I wasn't waiting for just the invitation, we were supposed to plan it all together. I was upset. I couldn't be angry with her but somehow urged to be have had been there on her big day!!

Then when one last time we talked was 4 years back, she called me to inform that she is moving to Kuwait and gave her contact number and email id to remain in touch. Sadly, none of that worked after a few months later. I din't hear from her on emails and then even I stopped writing to her.

Since then, it's been so many years, but whenever I get to reminiscence my childhood, she is a part of it. At times,I miss her so much that I will search the web for her, in all the possible ways but after some failures, I will end up hoping that she is doing fine at some corner of this world, and may be does think of me too at times. She could be a mother now. How her husband would be like? Would she be remembering me ever? "How few people, who have been the most important to you at one point in your life....disappear, forever!"

Now a days, although we have got facebook, gmail, twitter and so many other mediums to be in touch with each others or finding out about someone, sometimes even they don't help; and you feel the need to find that one missing link!

She was more than just a neighbor to me. Yes, she was like my elder sister. I was the only child in my family then, the eldest one and I needed someone elder to me around. Everyone in my family felt the same. My mother used to leave me at her place when she had to go out without me. When my father fell ill, uncle used to pray for him. I was so young but I still can remember him taking my father's name, my mother's name in his prayers. still feels heavier after having written all this down. Usually this works the other way round for me. Well, I will still be hunting for her in all sorts of ways I can. I don't have her address, her phone number, in fact i don't even know her last name after her wedding, but I know that I want to talk to her..somehow...anyhow; something...anything!!

I wish I see that day soon :-)

And yes, if you feel the same for someone, don't let them disappear because you are too busy!

-Fingers Crossed!!


Date : 06/12/2015 and Yes..I finally could find her!!! Thanks to Facebook's Friends-Suggest feature, who suggested me her elder sister's name. Till this date, this feature irritated me, but you find the real worth of some things, when you find your real worthy person out of them..It felt so amazing talking to you Monu Di and knowing that all this while , you were finding that missing link back to me , from your corner of this world! Love You too :D

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Strange but True!

A series of different incidents within half an hour, can make you feel happy about yourself!

My cook is not at her best..She is a single mother, taking care of her sick mother and a physically handicapped son. She would be in her forties. She doesn't keep well most of the times herself..After all, she is trying her best to come to work, her only source of income and support, though not regularly but I won't blame her entirely.Rather I pity on her circumstances.

It's mid of the month, and she asked for some money. She was looking pale and tired. I immediately gave her some cash without questioning. I guess, she thought I am trying to show disinterest towards her so she waited for me to speak something, standing at the door, with fear in her eyes to loose her only job someday soon. She often does ask for money, sometimes at 7 AM in the morning..But that wasn't what I was thinking then.It was an article, I read the other day, which crossed my mind as soon as I saw her. It said "I spend more money on Dominos than I spend on  my maid.". I realized the silence and did ask her.She explained how her mother needs to see doctor and she doesn't have any cash. Like all other things, she does it often. I let her, because may be she wants somebody to talk to and that lessens her pain. But one unexpected thing she did today was she bent down towards me, joining her hands. To show respect and gratitude in her words. But I was hurt. It doesn't feel right when someone so elder to you does that. Believe me it doesn't . I told "It's your hard earned money, don't thank me for that. " Yes, yes like our Hindi films. Smile caught her face  and she said while leaving, "Pehle ek bitiya thi, jo mera bhut khayaal rakhti thi..ab woh Hyderabad mein nahi hai...Bhagwaan ne unki jagaha tumhe bheja hai beta. Bhut khush raho!" [English - There was a girl, who used to take care of me very well. She is not in Hyderabad anymore, hence God has sent you. Stay Very Happy!]  I was touched and obliged. :-)

I left for the office in another 10 minutes, on my BICYCLE! Yeah, that's my new passion. Though it was turning to be little sunnier, I rode it with my playlist on. I reached office. The gate keeper smiled. Since when I have got bicycle, I am a little familiar to them. When I am not with my cycle, sometimes they do ask me, "Ma'm aaj cycle pe nahi aaye aap?" Haha..You don't have to do something huge to be noticed, just a little,out of the flow does sometimes. So that's not it. I was in the basement parking my cycle, one unknown colleague asked me smiling "Hey how much did this small thing cost you?" I told the price. He immediately said "Oh nice..I have been telling my friend(the one standing next to him) since long that I want to buy one..From today on wards you are my role model. Let's see if I buy soon. :-) " often do you see that coming..:D

I had a big smile on my face. I took stairs to reach my floor. That's one of the nice things, I have taken from one of my old friend. As soon as I opened the floor (4th floor) entrance, I see my friend cum colleague standing there. In awe at this sight he says, "Stairs Dishi?? Why do YOU need them?..I need them and I always think of that, but never able to..Keep it up.. Have a great day!!"

What can I say now..The smile grew bigger..!! :D
So, yes I am just having a great day, by doing nothing for others but myself. Strange but True! :-)